Tuesday, March 2, 2010

Dear Mom,

Another visit has come and gone ... always too quickly.  As much as I hate that our time together it doled out in six-day chunks, I absolutely love the time that we do get to spend together.  As much as I wish that I could live closer and just stop by your house when the feeling strikes ... or have you over for dinner ... or drop the girls off to spend the day with their Grammy, I also know how easy it is to take that kind of relationship for granted.  And I don't ever want to take you for granted.

I am not exactly sure when it happened.  We've always been close - despite the distance (in actual miles) that separates us.  Without me even realizing it.  Without me ever saying it aloud.  You became my best friend.  More often than not, you are the first person I call whether I am having a great day or at the end of my rope.  Just hearing your voice makes me feel like I am home.  

I never feel more like myself than when I am with you.   You never judge or criticize.  You know my faults and forgive them.  I can be goofy, stressed, sad, excited, ... no matter what I'm feeling, you are right there to laugh at with me ... or bring me a sense of calm ... or lift me up and help me see the bright side ... or celebrate along with me.  And you have this subtle way of letting me know that you're proud of me.  You don't have to say it in words or make some grand gesture.  I can see it in the way that you look at me ... and the things you tell other people.

After I became a mom, I saw you in a whole new light.  I saw you as the woman who held me as a newborn and sang to me and soaked me in and worried over my every breath.  It was really humbling to experience the kind of love that you have for me.  There is no love like a mother's love.  But I also realized that my love for you is even deeper than I imagined.  

Seeing you with your granddaughters.  Seeing how much you love them.  There aren't words for that kind of love.  It's beautiful, and it does my spirit good to bear witness to it.

Thank you for making the trip all the way out here - again.  Thank you for playing with Natalie and cuddling Charlotte.  Thank you for telling me that I am doing a good job as a mom.  Thank you for cooking yummy dinners (especially chicken strips) and buying our lunches out.  Thank you for Natalie's new wardrobe and Charlotte's new swing.  And for giving me some precious "me" time.  You spoil us and we like it.

I love you.  I appreciate you.  I can't wait until our next visit.

12 comments:

singedwingangel said...

Aww I hope your mom reads this. Sometimes we forget to let them know how important they are to us and I know this will make her day..

Shell said...

What a beautiful post! You are very lucky to have that relationship with your mom.

Cara Mamma said...

What a beautiful letter... thank you for giving us such a personal and loving look into your relationship with your mom.

Emmett Joseph said...

Boo hoo...she's gone already? That was a beautiful letter and so true. It's amazing how becoming a mother makes you see your own mother in a totally different light.

Deann said...

What a lovely letter to Grammy! I got a little teary myself. Your mom is special and so are you! :)

Chi-town momma said...

Oh, Dana. I love this. Every word in it is so true and amazingly written! If your mom isn't a regular reader, you must ask her to read it or mail her her very own (handwritten?) copy! It will bring her to tears!

EmmaLouWho said...

Oooh, getting teary over here. You're so blessed to have this kind of relationship with your mother!

Raising Z said...

That was the most beautiful letter! Thank you so much for sharing (you have me in tears). What a special relationship the two of you have.

Nell said...

Thank you, Dana! This expresses how I felt about my own mother, even though she passed away six months before my first child was born. It was a telescoping vision of who she was and what she did for all of us (I have six siblings and each have mentioned these things, too). Ironically, now that I have grandchildren, I am recobnizing these things, in a very different way, with my GRANDparents! This circle of life is embracing and sustaining, despite the many miles that separate us.

Your mom came in the day that I left and I was disappointed not to have a chance to get a hug. She is wonderful. And she has a terrific daughter!

Oliver'sMom said...

Sniff, sniff. Wiping away a tear here! Beautiful! Now, please excuse me as I book tickets to go see my mom in Montana. Reading your blog could get expensive! LOL

mammydiaries said...

That is gorgeous. And exactly how I feel about my mom. Thanks for such a warm feeling in what is quickly becoming another stressed out morning.

Lluvia said...

This is so beautiful! It made me tear up!!

I too, saw my mother under a new light after I gave birth.

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