So yesterday's news of an induction rocked my world ... to be sure.
Today's mention of a possible c-section just about did me in. At least now that induction seems like a great option ... there's a silver lining, right?!
So why the possible c-section?
Well, during my non-stress test (such a freakin' oxymoron!) today - at my OB's office - BGV's heart was reacting negatively to the many contractions I was having. Essentially, her heart rate would plummet at the end of each contraction. These contractions - the ones I've been having since 22 weeks and stop treating with meds last week are still considered "pre-term labor" contractions. As far as we know, they are not affecting my cervix. If I am induced or go into labor naturally, the intensity and productivity of those contractions would obviously (and hopefully) change. Increased contractions with a heart reacting like BGV's would not be an ideal situation. It would put her in distress, a scenario my OB will not allow to happen.
Now the first non-stress test today lasted for 20 minutes. I had two hard contractions during that time and both times BGV's heart rate dropped below baseline. This was such a surprise to me because her heart reactivity has been a point of praise from the doctors throughout all the previous monitoring. Of course, I am now off my meds and having more contractions. A second non-stress test - this one an hour in duration (thanks, Janelle for keeping NHV) - was administered and the results weren't as dramatic but still not meeting my OB's expectations. Rather than race into a c-section, my doctor wants to collect more data ... with another non-stress test tomorrow morning. Are you beginning to see what I mean about "non-stress" being an oxymoron?! Consider me officially STRESSED!
At this point, I am choosing to ignore the possibility of a c-section (can you say denial?) ... and instead focus on the induction that is tentatively scheduled for Tuesday. Between now and Tuesday, I have several doctor's appointments and big plans for our final days as a family of three ... this is the control freak in me ...
- Tomorrow, November 25- 9 am "non-stress" test to check the baby's heart reactivity during contractions. This will determine the need for a c-section.
- Thursday, November 26 - I want to take a drive to see the snow in the mountains - what could become a Thanksgiving tradition for us. And we are really looking forward to a delicious turkey dinner at Tammy's house :)
- Friday, November 27 - Sometime in the morning, I will need to go to Labor & Delivery for another non-stress test ... because both my OB's and specialist's office are closed.
- Saturday, November 28 - There is this amazing display for holiday lights at a local Botanical Garden. I would really love to take Natalie as a holiday season kick-off. Another family tradition kind of thing.
- Sunday, November 29 - I should probably rest at some point, right?! And cuddle up with my CPV and NHV :)
- Monday, November 30 - final ultrasound for growth measurements in the afternoon. This is our Hail Mary pass to see if the abdominal circumference improves drastically ... I am not overly optimistic after a two week stall. But, hey, anything is possible.
- Tuesday, December 1 - the big day, the day we meet BGV 2.0 :) The induction is not my first choice of birthing methods ... however something Chitown Momma said to me today gave me a whole new perspective. She said - in paraphrase format, "You haven't had any qualms about using drugs to control the contractions ... to do what's best for BGV and keep her baking as long as possible. The induction is the same thing ... it's using drugs to initiate labor ... to do what's best for BGV." Hearing those words and seeing them typed again here is a big sigh of relief for me. This is exactly what I needed to understand. Thank you, friend! Heck, I'd push her out standing on my head if it meant that she would be healthy!
- Beyond Tuesday, I don't know what life will be like, and I am not even guessing. I'll be so enamored with my new daughter and excited to introduce her to Natalie ... not much else will matter :)
If only I can sleep more than two hours tonight ... hoping this little control-freak dump will quiet my mind.
-------------------------------------------
Finally, and most importantly, I am awed and lifted up by the outpouring of concern and support and kind words and shared experiences and words of encouragement ... through blog comments and Facebook wall writings and emails and voice mails. I know that BGV and I are wrapped in good thoughts and prayers and anticipation for the best possible outcome. What a tremendous blessing! Thank you, friends!
Finally, and most importantly, I am awed and lifted up by the outpouring of concern and support and kind words and shared experiences and words of encouragement ... through blog comments and Facebook wall writings and emails and voice mails. I know that BGV and I are wrapped in good thoughts and prayers and anticipation for the best possible outcome. What a tremendous blessing! Thank you, friends!
9 comments:
Love you bunches, friend! Now lets see a little more, "cuddle with NHV and CPV" time in your schedule of events between now and Tuesday. All three of you need that!!!
I was terrified to have a c-section -- so not my birth plan -- but it all ended up so well in the end. You just get that sweet little girl into the world in whatever way is best for both of you. Can't wait to welcome her.
Sometimes it's not the road we take that's important, it's the end result. No matter how you get there, as long as #2 is born happy and healthy, nothing else matters.
Take the next few days to relax as much as you can, even with the non-stress tests (definitely an oxymoron!) and have a happy Thanksgiving!
I hope you've been able to head back to sleep. You are right that it's all a matter of perspective - about the drugs, the type of birth, all of it. In our birthing class for SP, I remember having to put down cards that had pairs of birthing options like one card had c-section on one side and natural on the other. We laid out our preferences, and then the teacher kept having us turn over two or four more that were the least important to us, ending with our final four. The top one picked by everyone? Healthy baby (versus unhealthy baby on the back). I've never forgotten that incredibly important moment when I realized that nothing else mattered more. I know you already know this very well, but this week will challenge you to keep thinking about it. Hang in there.
Wish our trip had better timing. We'll see you in a week, ready to pitch in as needed!
So, so, so excited to meet that little girl! I know it is going to be hectic from here on out, but try to steal as many calm, quiet moments as you can with your hubby and little girl. You're only a family of three for a few more days...love you!
Oh man. I'm going to be stuck on a plane with Oliver and then in a car until 9 tonight. The suspense is going to kill me! LOL
My heart is so with you right now; I can feel you completely as you grieve for the experience that you had hoped for. But I'm going to echo everyone else who has said that the end product, your new girl, will be all worth the pain and angst! Of course, you're going to have two tweens then two teenaged girls in your house someday, so the pain and angst has only started...LOL.
So I just had a thought...BGV stands for Baby Girl V, right? Or not...I think you're stringing us along here with name hints...Brianna Grace? Britt Gayle? Betsy Georgia? Brenda Glenda? Ok, just kidding on the last one...Anyone else with baby name guesses?
I went in to get induced - are they putting the cervical softening stuff in you to help BEFORE the pitossin?
If so, in about 25% of all cases that throws you into natural labor - it did with me.
I will pray for that because then you won't need pitossin!
Either way, it will be just fine. You will all be happy, healthy and just in time for more holidays! :)
big fat x xoxoxoxo's to you and drama queen..
that is mnm's nickname from her 3 year old teacher.. she still calls her DQ to this day .:)
i can't wait to hear the great news.. :)
xoox
I'm so glad I could help you out. The kids were great and it was nice to just play with them without feeling like I had to get a million chores done. I"m glad to hear that your little girl is still baking. Looking forward to meeting her soon.
Post a Comment