D-RA-MA Queen & Whiplash

So it's official, BGV will further more be known as DQV ... she is such a freakin' Drama Queen!

I was not in good shape last night.  Panic set-in and I just couldn't get it under control. My cheeks were suddenly very flushed and fetal movement was faint and infrequent ... even when I jostled her a bit.  I came very close to calling my doctor, but CPV calmed me down. 

Finally at about 1:00 am, she had a little bout of hiccups and I was able to relax and get some much needed sleep!  I woke up a short time later ... to have a snack because I wasn't able to eat much in the evening ... just too upset and conflicted.  During that quiet time in the middle of the night, I looked at photos of NHV's birth and had an emotional breakthrough, an epiphany, if you will.  I took a very deep cleansing breath, and just felt calm for the first time in several days.   I woke up feeling the same way; relaxed, rested, and calm ... there were even a few peaks of sun through the clouds to punctuate my changed mood.

NHV slept her usual 12 hours, and CPV made us a delicious breakfast.  The morning was off to such a nice start ... and I headed out the door for my fourth doctor's appointment of the week.

The first twenty minutes of the "non-stress" test today were ... well, stressful.  While there was clearly a heart beat, there was no evidence of heart reactivity.  Of course, I wasn't having any contractions either ... after 12 weeks of non-stop, medicated contractions ... nothing.  We gave the baby a few gentle squeezes to get some reactivity, but none of it was unprovoked.  That 20-minutes of tape sent everyone into a panic and paperwork was started for an emergency c-section.

I stayed on the monitor for another hour, and guess what ... Drama Queen smirked her little smirk at all of us (perhaps even thumbed her nose, that little stinker), and her heart was perfectly reactive the entire time.  And the contractions made a come back, too. Her heart rate even sustained through the contractions, which was yesterday's red flag!  The doctors (my OB and one of her partners) were just shaking their heads and saying things like, "Can this even be the same baby?"  I went from sobs to smiles but remained cautiously optimistic because ... that's just how this pregnancy has gone ... one minute good news, the next we're scrambling to figure out an escape plan!  That's the whiplash of growing a Drama Queen in your uterus!

By the end of almost two hours, it was decided that the plans for a c-section would be set aside.  Monitoring will resume on Friday morning, ultrasound on Monday afternoon, and OB appointment on Tuesday morning to determine the "when" of the induction.  There is still a tiny glimmer of hope for a growth spurt. 

At this point, I am accepting the idea of an induction.  There is simply no reason to fret about it or fight against it.  Getting this baby girl into the world happy and healthy is my number one priority.  In the meantime, I am going to savor the next five days with my awesome husband and daughter :)

Thank you again for the continued love for me, BGV DQV, and my family!

More News About BGV 2.0

So yesterday's news of an induction rocked my world ... to be sure. 

Today's mention of a possible c-section just about did me in.  At least now that induction seems like a great option ... there's a silver lining, right?!

So why the possible c-section?

Well, during my non-stress test (such a freakin' oxymoron!) today - at my OB's office - BGV's heart was reacting negatively to the many contractions I was having.  Essentially, her heart rate would plummet at the end of each contraction.  These contractions - the ones I've been having since 22 weeks and stop treating with meds last week are still considered "pre-term labor" contractions.  As far as we know, they are not affecting my cervix.  If I am induced or go into labor naturally, the intensity and productivity of those contractions would obviously (and hopefully) change.  Increased contractions with a heart reacting like BGV's would not be an ideal situation.  It would put her in distress, a scenario my OB will not allow to happen.

Now the first non-stress test today lasted for 20 minutes.  I had two hard contractions during that time and both times BGV's heart rate dropped below baseline.  This was such a surprise to me because her heart  reactivity has been a point of praise from the doctors throughout all the previous monitoring.  Of course, I am now off my meds and having more contractions. A second non-stress test - this one an hour in duration (thanks, Janelle for keeping NHV) - was administered and the results weren't as dramatic but still not meeting my OB's expectations.  Rather than race into a c-section, my doctor wants to collect more data ... with another non-stress test tomorrow morning.  Are you beginning to see what I mean about "non-stress" being an oxymoron?!  Consider me officially STRESSED!

At this point, I am choosing to ignore the possibility of a c-section (can you say denial?) ... and instead focus on the induction that is tentatively scheduled for Tuesday.  Between now and Tuesday, I have several doctor's appointments and big plans for our final days as a family of three ... this is the control freak in me ...

• Tomorrow, November 25- 9 am "non-stress" test to check the baby's heart reactivity during contractions.  This will determine the need for a c-section. 
• Thursday, November 26 - I want to take a drive to see the snow in the mountains - what could become a Thanksgiving tradition for us.  And we are really looking forward to a delicious turkey dinner at Tammy's  house :)
• Friday, November 27 - Sometime in the morning, I will need to go to Labor & Delivery for another non-stress test ... because both my OB's and specialist's office are closed.
• Saturday, November 28 - There is this amazing display for holiday lights at a local Botanical Garden.   I would really love to take Natalie as a holiday season kick-off.  Another family tradition kind of thing.
• Sunday, November 29 - I should probably rest at some point, right?! And cuddle up with my CPV and NHV :)
  
• Monday, November 30 - final ultrasound for growth measurements in the afternoon. This is our Hail Mary pass to see if the abdominal circumference improves drastically ... I am not overly optimistic after a two week stall.  But, hey, anything is possible.
• Tuesday, December 1 - the big day, the day we meet BGV 2.0 :)  The induction is  not my first choice of birthing methods ... however something Chitown Momma said to me today gave me a whole new perspective.  She said -  in paraphrase format, "You haven't had any qualms about using drugs to control the contractions ... to do what's best for BGV and keep her baking as long as possible.  The induction is the same thing ... it's using drugs to initiate labor ... to do what's best for BGV."  Hearing those words and seeing them typed again here is a big sigh of relief for me.  This is exactly what I needed to understand.  Thank you, friend!  Heck, I'd push her out standing on my head if it meant that she would be healthy!
  
• Beyond Tuesday, I don't know what life will be like, and I am not even guessing.  I'll be so enamored with my new daughter and excited to introduce her to Natalie ... not much else will matter :)
  

If only I can sleep more than two hours tonight ... hoping this little control-freak dump will quiet my mind.

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Finally, and most importantly, I am awed and lifted up by the outpouring of concern and support and kind words and shared experiences and words of encouragement ... through blog comments and Facebook wall writings and emails and voice mails.  I know that BGV and I are wrapped in good thoughts and prayers and anticipation for the best possible outcome.  What a tremendous blessing!  Thank you, friends!