Monday, September 28, 2009

All About MEme: Survivor Style

with MommyBrain and SupahMommy

Let's start out with a little Tribal Council ... cuz I've got a little business to take care of with the crap-for-brains lab technician who royally screwed up my 3-hour glucose tolerance test ... and pretty much ruined my day. (If you don't have a clue what I'm talking about, click here.)

Oh, and look, I even invited Jeff Probst to my little island to make this vote all official and what-not. The glucose has runs its course (not delightful!) and non-direction-reading, untrained lab technician, the Tribe has spoken ... and said all kinds of nasty, catty things about you and JP made some great underhanded comments about your lack of intelligence. It was awesome! Anyway, bah-bye.

So I am a HUGE Survivor fan - always have been, always will be! I've even had deranged visions of applying and trying my hand at outwitting, outlasting, and outplaying 19 strangers ... all while eating bugs and living in filthy and missing my family like crazy and getting my cute arse kicked in challenges. Wonder how the producers would feel about including a pregnant lady with a contracting uterus? Now that's SURVIVING!

Here's what I've decided ... after surviving the crap-tastic day I've had, I deserve to bend the MEme rules ... and I deserve to go on an island retreat with five things of my choice ... not really for survival, per say, but to make my stay as enjoyable as possible.

First up, this rustic shelter will be ready when I arrive; I am not looking for plush, just adequate. The bedding is soft Egyptian cotton - or something fabulous like that - and the bugs are non-existent. And I plan to SLEEP whenever and as much as I'd like.

Secondly, a pregnant mama's got to eat, so I am bringing along Jamie Oliver and all of the kitchen gadgets and food rations he needs to keep my cravings in check and my glucose in the normal range.

Third, I want to read until my brain hurts and my eyes get blurry. Rather than packing a bunch of books or keeping them dry (I hate wet pages), I've decided to give the Kindle a try ... it will be loaded with all kinds of literary masterpieces and romance novels.

Since there's no way I am going without a shower - especially at a time when I can take one uninterrupted, I'll have access to this outdoor shower stall and a plethora of good-smelling hair and body products.

And finally, because he looks too good to resist ... that's all I'm saying ... the rest is up to your imagination ... think this hottie digs the robust and curvy shape of a pregnant lady?

Yep, that's it. I am simple. Not sure how long I plan to stay, but these five things should serve me nicely on my island retreat :)


Chief said...

Super list! and I think we will have to share Probst. I get his snuffer.

I am sorry your day was craptastic! I hate the test so bad! I remember just trying no to throw up!

Look how many people joined you on your island though!

Semi-Slacker Mom said...

Can I come to your island? I'll need my own digs b/c I'm tired of sharing my space with other people & I'll bring Bobby or Tyler for my chef & as yummy as your hottie is, I'll need to bring my boyfriend, Ryan Reynolds. I'll wait on my invite.

Evonne said...

Love the list! Can I borrow Jamie Oliver? I love him!

SupahMommy said...

U get whatever you want after your survival story from yesterday

that feller there is somethinG even oliver couldn't cook up



SupahMommy said...

and do you read trashy romance novels or ... eloquent historical ones?

BJ_Mama said...

Yummy!! And I'm talking about #5...but #2 I'm sure wouldn't be bad either...

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