All About MEme: Deal Breakers

 

with MommyBrain and SupahMommy

I rarely watch talk shows.  Because of my awesome nap-taking daughters, this past week was an exception to the rule.  I watched Dr. Phil give a nice lady the what-for because she carries around a 20-item dating checklist ... and asks her dates to read it and check it off ...and wonders why she's still single.  Ummm, hello, I'm fairly certain her deal breaker list IS a deal breaker!  Seems this was a popular topic ... another day I watched Oprah, and that hottie friend of hers Nate was match-making ... for a lady that had an absolutely CRAZY list of deal breakers.  Normal things like "no kids" and "never been married" ... I guess those things are normal ... compared to "never drinks from a straw."  I laughed aloud when she actually admitted that drinking from a straw is a deal breaker. 

And then, Supah dropped this delightful prompt on me.  What crazy hang-ups do I have?  What are my deal breakers?

First of all, if an item of food is past it's "best by" date - even by a day - that's a deal breaker.  My husband disagrees with me on this one and claims there is a margin of error built in to those expiration dates.  I do not budge on this one!

Okay, just thought you should know that about me ... and now here are my relationship hang-ups ... I could only really think of three ... because I only dated a few guys in high school and then met my husband ... and he's perfect ;)

I discovered my first deal breaker in high school.  I dated this guy I've known since elementary school.  He is a truly sweet guy and a great friend.  I was totally into his friend but ended up dating him instead.  We had a lot in common and always had fun together.  He was such a gentleman and pretty cute, too. Here it comes ... BUT ... he had spit strings. Little spittles in the corners of his mouth.  When he talked the strings stretched and sometimes broke. I couldn't take my eyes off his mouth ... not in a good way.  And I could not bring myself to really kiss him.  He'd lean in for a kiss, and I'd dodge with a quick, polite peck.  I assumed if that much spit managed to escape his mouth - via the sides of his lips - a real kiss would involve more drool than a teething two-year old ... deal breaker.  Poor guy borrowed my physics notebook to study for a final exam and found a break up note inside ... I know, that's just not nice!

From excess saliva to pubic hair ... or at least the kind of hair that looks like it belongs below the belt but somehow landed on your head.  I think I dated a few charity cases in high school.  And I know I dated a few for the wrong reason.  My friend was interested in Mr. Pube Head, and for some reason that sparked my competitive spirit.  I went after him and won.  My prize ... an overly sentimental, mixed tape making, gas station rose buying, not funny ... guy with the kind of hair on his head that had no business being there.  It was just B-A-D bad ... and a deal breaker! 

From pubic hair to public cheeks.  I spent a summer living (in sin) with my then-boyfriend (now-husband) and his roommate - we called him Dick Skip (behind his back) as a shortened version of his real name.  He was a little odd and sometimes gave me the creeps.  Dick Skip invited me to spend the afternoon at the beach while my boyfriend was working.  We put our towels in the sand, laid on our backs, and started soaking up some rays.  I had my eyes closed and tried to ignore his attempts at conversation. A little while later, I heard him rustling around but didn't think much of it.  Deciding it was time to flip over and give my back some sun, I sat up, opened my eyes, turned to look at water, and got an eyeful of bare butt cheeks. My male roommate had taken off the swim trunks he wore to the beach and stripped down to a black thong!  Ummm, guy in a thong ... in public ... with another guy's girlfriend ... deal breaker!

And finally, while I was typing this, Natalie and Chad were having a tea party when I discovered this deal breaker ... Natalie put an apple in her cup and said, "I's dinking apple juice."  Chad followed her lead, picked up an nearby item, and said, "I made ball juice."  As far as I am concerned - that - in any context - is a deal breaker!  CPV, of course, quickly realized what he had said and cracked up laughing ... hee, hee!

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Now it's your turn.  Link up so I can stop by your place and read about your deal breakers!