And, well, that's probably because I am too busy entertaining her, keeping her out of trouble, building up a tolerance for her incessant fussing, and trying to figure out how to get this child to sleep.
While she certainly has her moments ...
adorable, happy, sweet moments ... like these ...
when she's crawling up the stairs, playing in the kitchen, throwing rice out of the bin, "riding" her new car, tearing up tissue paper, trying to eat cat food, emptying out the shoe bin, bouncing on the bed with daddy and Natalie, and just waking up from a nap, ...
this past month has been tough, a struggle, a challenge,
a test of my abilities and patience.
I'll blame it on teething. Since the beginning of April, Charlotte has gotten four front teeth on top and four molars. She has drooled and cried and fussed and whined. There has been a fair amount of infant ibuprofen and almost constant binky sucking. Her appetite was even curbed for a day or two. And most recently, she's added teeth grinding to the mix, which is a sound I can just barely tolerate.
I'll blame it on frustration. She is still only crawling and pulling up, but there is clearly a desire to get down and move around. This phase - not-yet-walking - is so hard! Add to the mix the fact that she definitely knows what she wants, when she wants it, but is still not saying or signing much, and you've got a recipe for exasperation on both of our parts. She "screams" at me all day long, and many times I am feeling just as frustrated as she is ... plus I cannot even hear myself think because of the constant fussing (aka screaming).
I'll blame it on lack of sleep. Charlotte takes between 2 and 3 hours to fall asleep at night. She gets her bath (which is her favorite time of day), reads a story, rubs her eyes, has a yawn or two, tolerates my singing, goes in her crib, and then the party begins. For a while, I assumed this was just her time to practice new skills like crawling and pulling up - but she's been doing those things forever and gets plenty of practice during the day. She is not unhappy in her crib in her dark room. Most of the time she's quiet and will sometimes chat and then cry out when she loses her binky or bunny. But it takes hours for her to fall asleep. And I feel frustrated and guilty ... because I cannot figure out how to help her put herself to sleep. Ultimately, her good night's sleep is getting grossly short-changed. She wakes up tired and grumpy instead of rested and delightful. As a result her nap schedule has been a complicated as a Rubic Cube, which makes planning the day nearly impossible.
Ah, my sweet Charlotte Jane, this has been a tough month, but I know we'll get through it, and you'll come out the other side a happy, walking, talking, sleeping toddler ... and perhaps I will have a few shreds of sanity left!