Tuesday, November 2, 2010

buckle up - every time

I keep replaying the scene in my mind ... over and over again.  I wish I had that split second back. 
 
Charlotte fell off the changing table this evening.  Yes, I am a terrible mom.  Or at least I feel like a terrible mom.  I feel awful knowing that something I did - without even thinking - caused my baby pain.  Caused her to cry out, to be scared, to fall ... but not in that order.

I normally strap her in, but this time - for some reason - I didn't.  I had only managed to take off her pants when Natalie began swinging the baby monitor over her head like a lasso.  It whacked against the crib and the wall and nearly knocked her in the head.  I issued a warning.  It was not heeded. I turned my back and took three steps toward my misbehaving three year old and heard a thug :(  Within a split second it registered.  The next minute is a blur.  I turned around to see Charlotte on the floor on her belly, and she was crying, which apparently is a good sign.  

I very carefully turned her over and checked to see that she wasn't broken.  And then I scooped her up and began calming her - while simultaneously instructing Natalie to go to her room and stay there.  I called Chad and spoke through sobs.  I pulled myself together and called our pediatrician's office and talked to a nurse.  She ran me through a triage checklist and felt confident that Charlotte was probably okay just shaken up.  While she was still on the phone, I put Charlotte in her crib and tried to finish what I started - changing her diaper.  She cried out in pain several times when I moved her right leg.  

My gut said, "Better safe than sorry."  The nurse agreed, especially since I am leaving with the girls tomorrow for a 10-day trip to Illinois.  So we visited the ER just to make sure ... thankfully Chad met us there and entertained Natalie with a book.  My compliments - once again - to our ER; fast, friendly, thorough, ... 

Charlotte checked out fine.  No signs of head trauma, no bruises, normal responsiveness, generally happy, ... but, boy was I freaked out!  I've been whispering, "I'm sorry," against her little head all evening.  As penance, I rocked her to sleep - something I don't usually do. Of course, she's awake now chatting with her bunny ...

What I know now - that I already knew but temporarily had a lapse ... 
Do not leave children unattended on raised surfaces!
Buckle up - every time!

9 comments:

jenny said...

oh dana, you are a wonderful mommy and we've all made mistakes! i'm so glad charlotte is okay. an important reminder to keep our eyes on the kiddos even if they are out of the changing table stage! great post!!

Janelle said...

Dana! I'm so sorry. You are a great mother. Glad little Charlotte is a trooper and doing fine. Have a great trip!

Jamie said...

I think we've all done that at some point but this is definately a good reminder to buckle up! You are a wonderful mother and your girls are so lucky to have you!

Mel said...

We know how you feel! Especially being distracted by a 3 year old. Tuck fell off of our very high bed when he was 5 months old. This kid could not get rolling and then at that moment, on our bed, the concept of how to "roll" clicked with him. It was that moment he triumphantly got his little arm up and over enough to push himself to his belly...and then keep going. Like you said, it was a split second. Chris was right on the bed with him. He still says "I can't believe he rolled!". So, that milestone was a little skewed. :) Love you! Glad you both are OK!!!

Emmett Joseph said...

Oh, Dana, I'm so sorry that happened! But those things happen to all of us---you are an amazing Mommy! Kiss that little princess for me :)

♥Cari♥ said...

I know how you feel! When Paige was just a few months old, she fell off of the couch. She was lying there in her boppy pillow, I got up to get fold up her blanket that she used for tummy time. I don't even know how it happened - but she fell off. She couldn't even roll over! Can't figure it out, but it happened. I FLIPPED out. knocked over my glass onto the floor - it shattered. I felt soo horrible. Abe finally had to take her from me because I was more upset than she was and I was not helping her calm down. I cried for HOURS.

I've come to realize that it's something that can happen to anyone, and we shouldn't beat ourselves up over it.

(((HUGS)))

Jessica said...

I'm so sorry! That has happened at our house too. It is so scary and makes you feel just awful. Glad to hear she's ok.

EmmaLouWho said...

Oh I am so sorry! You are a great Mommy ... it can happen to anyone. SO glad little Charlotte is okay!!

Elaina said...

so sorry and so glad she's okay! If it makes you feel any better, Riley fell through the fabric "roof" of our backyard playset today. Hurt his knee but he seems to be okay too. Have a great trip!

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