Thursday, October 16, 2008

Dear Milkman

Please make the milkman stop.
Do whatever you can.
Sleep with him if you have to.
We can't take anymore milk!

This was the note left by my husband as he hurried out the door to work this morning. As you can see, we have a problem, and I guess it's a "good" problem to have if there is such a thing.

About three weeks ago, I signed up for milk delivery service. Yes, I have a milkman.

I can't help but wonder if he's the same milkman that fathered my dear sister - tee hee!

I also can't help but make the comparison between this milk delivery service and the 11 months I spent providing this service to my darling NHV. Mine came on schedule and in an insulated container ... but I never "delivered" more than we needed!

Ummmm, so what's the problem? Glad you asked ...
It all started with an unexpected knock at the door; must be my month for those - remember the neighbor-needing-a-recipe story? Despite the "no solicitation" sign, he knocked and I answered. Clearly, there was some force of destiny at work. His sales pitch was convincing, and he offered to leave a half gallon of organic whole milk - free of charge. Facing a trip to the grocery store - in need of you guessed it, milk - Yeah, "you had me at free milk."

Thus began the delivery of 3 half gallons of organic whole milk ... every other week. Except, well, it's not every other week. It's every week. Every Friday three half gallons of milk are left in my handy-dandy insulated milk box on the front porch. "From, moo to you," indeed!

Oh, yeah, the problem ...
There's a surplus of milk in our fridge that would suggest perhaps our consumption to delivery ratio is way off! I've even been gifting whole milk; a gift my mommy friends are all too happy to receive, I might add. But the amount of milk in my fridge is borderline ridiculous ...

And now I am off to call the milkman ... again ... to explain my dilemma, offer sexual favors if it comes to that, and hope to put an end to this milk madness :)

6 comments:

William and Findlay said...

Hi Dana!

I have you in my google reader, so I have enjoyed following you guys :) I haven't seen you for ages!!

Are you using Smith Brothers? If so, nothing seems to work...!!! About six weeks ago, we signed up for their service... the first week's order was incorrect... the second week's order was incorrect... the third week's order was incorrect AND the delivery guy got raw eggs all over our porch... the fourth, fifth, and six weeks' orders were incorrect... and then I gave up for good. I had called numerous times throughout the whole ordeal (probably 10... I had them programmed into my phone!) and was only able to get one person to return my phone calls... she would ask, "would you give us another chance to get it right?" and I did... four times. In the end, I found it easier to put milk/eggs back into my grocery list--even if it ended up meaning a last minute run to the store. If you stick with them, I sure hope you have better luck than we did!!!

I hope to see you guys again soon. It has been way too long!

-anya

TX momma said...

So sad about the milkman. I was pretty envious when we chatted that you were getting this exciting little delivery...sorry it has backfired.

Laura said...

Are you sure the sexual favors weren't the problem in the first place? Maybe that's why you are getting the extra milk...lol. :)

Laura said...

Ahhh yes...I must look into getting one of these said milkmen. :)

supah ~d said...

oh... you just WAIT. give it one more kid and a few years.. you'll pay for extra STOPS, pray the milkman comes early and solicit extra GALLONS with certain promises .. ... or buy an outright dairy cow like I did. Keep it in your formal living room.

:)

d

Chi-town momma said...

This one certainly deserves a spot on the top ten in my opinion! It still cracks me up; especially Chads note! Have you ditched the milkman? I NEED one the way we go through milk around here and since I hate carrying it up the three flights, too!

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