Sighs of Relief

I think my sweet husband put it best when he said, "It's so good to have YOU back."

After a drama-filled, worrisome, painful, stressful pregnancy, I finally feel like I can breath many, many sighs of relief.

Aaaaaaahhhhhhh!

My beautiful BGV was born healthy and as close to perfect as any parent has the right to dream.  Yes, she's tiny, but she's also mighty!  While she/we did endure a stay in the NICU, medical intervention was minimal ... it was really all about monitoring her ... and giving her the chance to figure out suck-swallow-breath ... and being in awe of this tiny 36 week-er who proved that gestational age is just a number ;)

Aaaaaaahhhhhhh!

After dreading an induction, I can honestly say it was the best labor experience I can imagine.  I have a great relationship with my OB, and she cleared her entire schedule to be with me at the hospital all day.  She graciously took into account my feelings about natural labor and helped me to manage my pain (and motivate my cervix) without Pitocin or an epidural.  In addition to the best doctor in the world, I also had an amazing nurse who made sure I was comfortable and empowered.  And I fell in love - all over again - with my husband who coached me and kept me focused on the prize :) 

With a dose of "steel-melting" gel on my cervix-o-steel, my uterus stayed true to its grumpy disposition and contracted like a champ. I was able to trust my body to do what it already knows how to do, and I had that all-important "control" over the situation.

Aaaaaaahhhhhhh!

My post-partum recovery has been a piece of cake in comparison to the physical demands of a contraction-filled pregnancy.  Physically, I feel great; I've all but forgotten that I even have a uterus!  Birthing such a tiny baby had the advantage of no tearing in the nether-regions.  And with around-the-clock pumping, engorgement (the worst part when I had NHV) wasn't even that bad.  Don't get me wrong, I am exhausted, and I am definitely feeling the hormone surges and dips.  But overall, I am in a much better place physically! 

Of course, the twice-a-week doctor's appointments continue ... but no more non-stress tests or ultrasounds ... just weigh-ins for CJV!

Aaaaaaahhhhhhh!

Daddy's Little Girl

Less is More

I just got schooled by my one week old.

Charlotte has her days and nights a little confused.  Seems appropriate considering the fact that she should still be tucked in my uterus for another few weeks.  During the day, she falls right to sleep after a feeding ... even with the noise of a two year old filling the background.  At night, when our world is so much more quiet, she's alert - love seeing her eyes open - and even a little restless.  Of course, I am ready for bed, so this presents a bit of a dilemma. 

I've been enjoying Charlotte's alertness but watching closely for signs of over-stimulation, a lesson I learned from NHV ... back in the day.  Tonight, CJV offered me a refresher course in this concept.

After several big yawns, the most classic newborn "I'm tired" sign, I took Charlotte upstairs, changed her poo-filled diaper (a task usually preformed just before feeding), and proceeded to rock, sing, and pat her to sleep.  I brought out my signature shushing.  In response, she squirmed and grimaced and seemed miserable. Twenty minutes later, I couldn't figure out what was "wrong" with her; she just wouldn't go to sleep. 

I got up from the glider, sat on the edge of the bed, and cuddled her close.  I stopped moving.  I stopped singing.  I stopped shushing.  I took a few deep breaths and allowed my mind to wonder.

Within two minutes, Charlotte was blissfully, completely ... asleep.

Clearly, when helping a newborn fall asleep, less is more.

Sidenote: In regards to this momma getting enough SLEEP, less is definitely NOT more!

Sisters

Oh, that first meeting.

Words cannot express.

NHV has taken to big sisterhood with much enthusiasm and love.

She giggled and smiled and just gazed with such awe.

She must've said the words, "babee sistah" at least a dozen times.

"Babee sistah grew in mommy's be-yy-y."

"Babee sistah ... Charlotte." 

"See babee sistah's tootsies."

"Babee sistah's tootsies ... t-I-ny."

She then counted her toes and leaned in for a tootsie kiss.

"Dat babee sistah's naket (blanket)."

And her best observation ...

"Mommy work hard ... get babee sistah out her tummy."

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I cried.  I smiled.  I suddenly understand ...

A mother's love is infinite.

Home is ...

... where the heart is.

Well, I'm home.  Have been for almost 24 hours now.  The hospital takes its 24-hour discharge policy pretty darn seriously.  And really, I slept better in my own bed than I ever would've there.

But a big chunk of my heart is not here with me.

Charlotte is staying in the NICU for now, and I know it's the best place for her.  She is receiving around-the-clock monitoring and exceptional care.  Wish that made it easier to leave her.  Makes me a little weepy just thinking about it now. 

Knowing her gestational age and small size, I expected a NICU stay.  Most importantly, her symptoms are all typical.  She's healthy but immature.  Her systems - respiratory, digestive, nervous - are being required to take care of a lot of things that my womb should be providing for another 3-4 weeks.

She's still having a tough time regulating body temperature, but the nurses  just moved her from the heated incubator to an open bassinet.  This will give her the chance to provide her own heat ... along with help from three swaddle blankets and the tiniest sleeper I've ever seen.  Hoping for good news tomorrow morning.  The problem is that providing her own heat also uses a lot of calories.

The feeds are getting better (suck, swallow, breath is a tough combination) and she's taking a few more mL each time.  I am doing my best to pump a milk supply into existence.  In the meantime, she's drinking high-caloric formula in order to off-set the calories burned during a feeding - as well as whatever meager amount I pump.  She cannot afford to lose any weight ... so far she's only lost about 2 ounces.

So CJV needs to take in enough calories to gain weight ... but those calories also have to help her stay warm and give her the energy to effectively feed.  Seems like a lot to ask such a sweet, little nugget.

CPV and I visited with her for two hours this morning, and Grammy came back with me during NHV's naptime.  I am trying to maximize my time with each of my girls.  The nurse insisted that I don't come back for a third feeding today.  She wants me to rest, pump every three hours, and "take advantage of the most expensive babysitting money can buy."

Now I am counting the hours until the morning feed when I'll get to hold my baby again.

1st Day Photos

Many requests for photos ... can't disappoint the masses ...

Here is a little glimpse of Charlotte's 1st Day:

Not sure these photos really capture just how tiny she is ... she is one teeny, tiny little nugget!

Announcing the Arrival of CJV

Hurray!

Charlotte Jane

arrived December 2 at 6:55 pm

She weighs a teeny, tiny 4 pounds 9 ounces

and measures just 15 3/4 inches long!

The induction was actually a wonderful experience. 

Everything went just as smoothly as possible.

My awesome doctor was here all day.

The nurse took such good care of us.

Hubby was an amazing labor coach.

CJV is spending time in the NICU to monitor her blood sugar,

ability to regulate body temperature,

and oxygen saturation levels during feedings. 

She's been extremely cooperative through it all. 

I am feeling great ... aside from being very hungry and a little sore.

I am the momma of two beautiful daughters. 

How very blessed I am!