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Sunday, January 24, 2010

All About MEme: Deal Breakers

with MommyBrain and SupahMommy

I rarely watch talk shows.  Because of my awesome nap-taking daughters, this past week was an exception to the rule.  I watched Dr. Phil give a nice lady the what-for because she carries around a 20-item dating checklist ... and asks her dates to read it and check it off ...and wonders why she's still single.  Ummm, hello, I'm fairly certain her deal breaker list IS a deal breaker!  Seems this was a popular topic ... another day I watched Oprah, and that hottie friend of hers Nate was match-making ... for a lady that had an absolutely CRAZY list of deal breakers.  Normal things like "no kids" and "never been married" ... I guess those things are normal ... compared to "never drinks from a straw."  I laughed aloud when she actually admitted that drinking from a straw is a deal breaker. 

And then, Supah dropped this delightful prompt on me.  What crazy hang-ups do I have?  What are my deal breakers?

First of all, if an item of food is past it's "best by" date - even by a day - that's a deal breaker.  My husband disagrees with me on this one and claims there is a margin of error built in to those expiration dates.  I do not budge on this one!

Okay, just thought you should know that about me ... and now here are my relationship hang-ups ... I could only really think of three ... because I only dated a few guys in high school and then met my husband ... and he's perfect ;)

I discovered my first deal breaker in high school.  I dated this guy I've known since elementary school.  He is a truly sweet guy and a great friend.  I was totally into his friend but ended up dating him instead.  We had a lot in common and always had fun together.  He was such a gentleman and pretty cute, too. Here it comes ... BUT ... he had spit strings. Little spittles in the corners of his mouth.  When he talked the strings stretched and sometimes broke. I couldn't take my eyes off his mouth ... not in a good way.  And I could not bring myself to really kiss him.  He'd lean in for a kiss, and I'd dodge with a quick, polite peck.  I assumed if that much spit managed to escape his mouth - via the sides of his lips - a real kiss would involve more drool than a teething two-year old ... deal breakerPoor guy borrowed my physics notebook to study for a final exam and found a break up note inside ... I know, that's just not nice!

From excess saliva to pubic hair ... or at least the kind of hair that looks like it belongs below the belt but somehow landed on your head.  I think I dated a few charity cases in high school.  And I know I dated a few for the wrong reason.  My friend was interested in Mr. Pube Head, and for some reason that sparked my competitive spirit.  I went after him and won.  My prize ... an overly sentimental, mixed tape making, gas station rose buying, not funny ... guy with the kind of hair on his head that had no business being there.  It was just B-A-D bad ... and a deal breaker! 

From pubic hair to public cheeks.  I spent a summer living (in sin) with my then-boyfriend (now-husband) and his roommate - we called him Dick Skip (behind his back) as a shortened version of his real name.  He was a little odd and sometimes gave me the creeps.  Dick Skip invited me to spend the afternoon at the beach while my boyfriend was working.  We put our towels in the sand, laid on our backs, and started soaking up some rays.  I had my eyes closed and tried to ignore his attempts at conversation. A little while later, I heard him rustling around but didn't think much of it.  Deciding it was time to flip over and give my back some sun, I sat up, opened my eyes, turned to look at water, and got an eyeful of bare butt cheeks. My male roommate had taken off the swim trunks he wore to the beach and stripped down to a black thong!  Ummm, guy in a thong ... in public ... with another guy's girlfriend ... deal breaker!

And finally, while I was typing this, Natalie and Chad were having a tea party when I discovered this deal breaker ... Natalie put an apple in her cup and said, "I's dinking apple juice."  Chad followed her lead, picked up an nearby item, and said, "I made ball juice."  As far as I am concerned - that - in any context - is a deal breaker!  CPV, of course, quickly realized what he had said and cracked up laughing ... hee, hee!

Now it's your turn.  Link up so I can stop by your place and read about your deal breakers!


Epiphius said...

Good thing you guys are already married! Ball juice is a definate deal breaker!

Unknown said...

ewww. guys wearing thongs. total deal breaker!

BJ_Mama said...


ALso, I think I nearly spit myslef when I read about your spit string friend......YUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK!

Speedo Roomie and Pube Head were pretty gross too.

Miss. C said...

Much to early in the am for those images!!! lol!!
I have the list of 20 (moral things mainly)! After one failed marriage and three kids I wasn't messing up! But my dates NEVER knew about the list, actually after playing your little game I showed my hubby for the first time! lol!

Unknown said...

UMM eww on the spit thing and the speedoa wearing roomie. lmbo ball juice, the many images that alone can conjure up are yeah dealbreakers lol

Shell said...

The butt cheeks thing is grossing me out.

Emmett Joseph said...

Oh, I am in tears right now. Spit Strings--sad to say, I fell prey to that one too. So glad you stole him away from me :) And I don't know what you were thinking with Pube Head--yuck...
And tell CPV that under NO CIRCUMSTANCES do I want to be served ball juice while i'm visiting either. That would be a visit deal breaker fo sho :)

Oka said...

LOL@ ball juice...yep deal breaker

So glad I never dated a Pube head, Spittle man, or Thong Dude. Pretty scary that you have done all three.

Ali said...

I didn't even think of the spit strings! yuck!!!

Anonymous said...

dudes in thongs are absolute deal breakers! gross.

stoppy by from follower!

Anonymous said...

LMAO on Mr. Pube Head! And guys in thongs, deal breaker!

Laura@The Oily Cupboard said...

ewww to the spit strings...i think i just threw up in my mouth! ha ha
love ur list! you've got urself a new follower!!!

Melissa said...

Ball juice, spit strings, black thongs and head pubes...I think I just found my new online BFF! Loved it :)

me said...

Im straight and THOSE are dealbreakers!

Heidi said...

EWWWWWWW!! OMG I am so grossed out by your deal breaker #1. Ugh!! Definitely a deal breaker if there's vomit in my throat.

supahmommy- somethin's wrong with that girl said...

three things

spit strings


and ball juice

bwwwww ahahhahahhahahahah



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